Recklessness for a happy couple

Being married with kids takes a lot of work and it certainly means you must move away from recklessness. Which, in my experience, is something you do quite naturally and without much of an effort. However, it might not be the case for everyone. What if your other half misses that feeling of freedom that comes with not giving a fuck about danger or consequences? Should we consider inviting some recklessness back in our marriage, to keep our couple happy?

By now you guys know that hubby and I try to book time for ourselves every now and then. Just to have a proper meal without the routine screaming, rolling, running, falling, crying, spitting and burping soundtrack that usually accompanies them. It’s a brief moment of luxury that allows us to have an adult conversation. Or to simply finish a sentence without being interrupted, basically.

Happy couples

Last week, we went out for dinner and somehow the topic of the conversation started touching on relationships and couple goals. Particularly, on those couples, who’ve been together for many years (say 10 or more), and where one starts to see other people or to date other women or men. Just to experience something different – while still acknowledging that they maintain priority for their “main” relationship.

I was curious to hear what he thought about that. Personally, I am certainly against this kind of open relationship (come on let’s be serious, I can hardly share my food with people, what makes you think I would share my husband?!).

His take on this was twofold: first of all, he admitted his admiration for those who are capable of managing multiple love relationships, since – and I quote – “one is way too much work already”.

(Hang on a second, was this his way of telling me that I am annoying and too much to handle?!)

Then he added that, in his opinion, these people are moved by a quest for recklessness. Especially if they have not lived their single years to the fullest and have entered a serious relationship/marriage too soon.

Finally, he confessed that this “recklessness” is something he can see himself missing/wishing for at some point, too. Not because he hasn’t had enough fun hen he was younger (believe me, he has!). But more because when you are in an exclusive relationship like a marriage (with or without kids) you are expected to always be vigilant. To always be aware of and responsible for the consequences of your actions and words.

Truth hurts

WOW. So I should be reconsidering inviting recklessness back into my marriage for a happy couple. For a second, I damned myself for asking the question. I wished one of our kids was there to spill their glass of water, half-choke on a gigantic piece of bread or simply slip off their high chair. But then, I started to understand what he meant. And it does make sense.

Can you imagine how good it would feel to live one wild night like in “The Hangover”? Just to re-center on yourself and feel young and free again? If what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, I’d be happy to trade Valentine’s Day with a “Vegas Day”, where anything goes and recklessness has no consequences…


And you? What is your relationship with recklessness like? Tell us your story and we will publish it here! getintouch@thereallifeblog.com

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