Let’s start by saying that perfection does not exist.
Yes, you read that right. Perfection does not exist. What? Wait. That can’t be true! Well, luckily enough for all of us, it is true. Perfection is nothing but another very weird concept invented by human beings to feel like shit and make others feel like shit. It does not exist in nature, nature is not perfect, so why should we be?
I know this sounds super easy but actually what we are doing here is turning years of occidental education upside down (and most probably your mom and dad will not agree with me). I have only just found this out myself at the age of 34 and it took me at least a couple of months to start accepting that perfection is not a real thing (and I am still struggling with it).
Like you, I grew up with a huge social pressure on my shoulders: be the perfect daughter, then be the perfect friend, then the perfect girlfriend, the perfect wife, the perfect mum… it is all a big lie guys! The moment you acknowledge that perfection does not exist, you will immediately feel relieved and less stressed.
Trying to achieve something that does not exist is stupid.
Didn’t we just say that perfection does not exist? So stop trying to achieve it, you are losing your time running after the impossible, and how frustrating is that? Let’s focus on being as good as we can instead, without comparing ourselves to others at every step of the journey.
Life is not a competition and what you see on Instagram is not real (but I hope you knew this already at least. I mean, in a real world if Ariana Grande was really wearing white Crocs sandals with white socks the world would end and she would immediately lose the 6 millions of followers she has, right? That can’t be true come on!).
We should all aspire at being the best version of ourselves and that’s it.
Imperfections are your friend (and your strength).
We all have imperfections given that, as we just said, perfection does not exist. So stop feeling guilty about your imperfections! In a world where everyone ends up looking alike while trying to be perfect (with high boobs and a flat stomach and perfectly done nails and Kardashian’s contouring on your face – especially after you’ve had kids, and the gravity is not a friend of yours anymore), imperfections are what makes you different! Instead of trying to hide them, you should leverage them and use them to become stronger.
Nobody is perfect! And if you do not want to believe me, at least you should believe Celine Dion and her new song “Imperfections”. So if we would all stop hiding our imperfections instead of faking it hard and showcasing a perfect life that we do not have, we’d all be friends!
Failure is part of the journey
Easier to say than to apply, I agree. But when failure comes, the only way to get through it is to embrace it; and while perfection does not exist, failure is very real but it is not as negative as we’ve been taught. It is simply the way we learn things.
Being a mom has taught me a lot of things. Surprisingly, most of them have been taught to me by my kids. Looking them learning something new every day, accepting and embracing failure every time, has amazed me. And the funny thing is, for them it does not just hurt emotionally, but physically too! Think about when they learn to walk
It is all in your hands.
This is not just a way of saying. A nice mantra that you read on those motivational cards on Instagram. I have tried this on my skin and can confirm that happiness is a state of mind. I am more and more convinced that you can chose if you want to be happy by the way you decide to look at yourself and at others. It’s basically the good old grandma’s “half full or half empty glass”. And most of the times, the answer to our questions is already there, inside us. Only, we are either looking for it in the wrong place.
Self-consciousness is the key. Our body already knows it all, the only thing we have to start doing is to listen to it. My therapist recommended this very funny and revealing series of YouTube video pills on emotions. I absolutely invite you to check it out as it’s amazingly inspiring and a great eye opener! You will learn that emotions are the language of the brain. This is the way your brain communicates with you, so it is super important to listen to them. Check-in on yourself daily and take action as required. I guarantee you will start to feel better immediately. Been there, done that!